"There is no elasticity in the leg cf a pole-vaulters pole."
You don't need elasticity for it to work over a limited range of angles, especially since we can bend our knee to smooth things out.
Is there any elasticity when a car coasts up a hill, slowing down?
"The pendulum is a special case where gravity 'appears' to affect horizontal motion, but actually doesn't - the movement of the pendulum is not really horizontal - its circular - and it works through the vertical component."
No one said the movement was purely horizontal, however there is most certainly a horizontal component of movement. And this is ultimately produced by the force of gravity acting through the geometry of the support situation. The horizontal accelerateions come from the same "normal force not vertical" situation as all of the other examples.
"Also when the pendulum is at maximum height the (pseudo)horizontal force is at it's maximum, the opposite situation to dancing."
No, it's the same as in dancing. The path of a waltz dancer and a pendulum blob are very comparable. When you are down, you are moving quickly with little change in horizontal speed, when you are up you are moving slowly with a lot of change of horzintal speed, as you'll slow to a stop and then re-accelerate. Just as a pendulum bob would. Though in waltz the radius of our upwsing is greater than the radius of our downswing - the model still works, when we consider the up and down separately we find they still match at the points where they join.
"To me the situation here (at the the top of swing in dancing) doesnt really have a geometry that couples the horizontal and the vertical."
Lock your legs rigid at the top of waltz rise and let yourself loose balance. You'll fall over, as and you fall you will accelerate horizontally (or simply stand a broom on end and let go of it). Of course in dancing we modulate this to make a more curved path, using amongst other things bend in our legs.