Hi

I happened to bump into this site and saw some members share their views about how to get their husband to dance. I have been learning how to dance on my own for years. I tried to get my husband to learn ballroom dancing with me but without any success. I used to go out and dance with very good dancer and really enjoy myself and they make me feel like a star. But all these good dancers are looking for a girl friend and im married. So it wont last long. My husband did came to the club and dance with me for awhile cos I tried to encourage him to dance. The problem is he undo everything I learnt and he can't lead well. He wsnted me to go left and I go right. We ended up arguing and its frustrating instead of enjoyable. I told him that I think he should learn first before dancing in the public. I persuaded him to learn ballroom dancing so that he can lead and knows the different variations and steps. Also we can practise our dancing together and have fun together. He is extremely stubborn and refused to go and learn dancing.

im love my dancing very much and would like to have a steady partner.

Can anybody give me some ideas how I can encourage my husband to come and learn dancing with me.

cheers princessgege

You can not make someone do something they dont want to....for very long....or enjoy it. It IS embarrassing to make mistakes and it does tend to really shutdown the fun factor. If starting with an instructor by himself is a no go, you might have to give up on sharing this love with him. There are a lot of girls who go to dances solo and sit in groups. Usually there is a guy or two that is at the same table and dances with everyone. Luck is he to have his night full, dancing with a table full of ladies. Also in most all studio party situations is acceptable for the girl to ask a guy to dance. If you still want a dance partner there is a place on this site to advertise for one. Also Face Book has a group I believe called Dance Partners Wanted - or something similar.

Remember dancing just might NOT be your husbands thing. You all might have to agree this would be you alls night to have fun apart.

I would ask him,"What are you afraid of?" He has learned the hard way that you can't dance without lessons. Many men are simply afraid that they won't get it ever or that they will look stupid. If you can get him to take a private lesson, don't criticize or even help. Just let the instructor take over. No matter what he does, do your steps and keep your frame. If you know your stuff well enough, there shouldn't be any way he can make you 'unlearn'. He may not like the idea that you are better at dancing than him. Again, it is the fear factor.

Wow, if he is willing to embarrass you and himself by hiding in a room when someone comes over to teach dancing, then he has serious issues with learning to dance. He needs professional help.

I came from a country where dancing was and still is where everybody accepted it as normal. You might just mention that in cave drawings thousands of years old, the carvings were obviously of people dancing. I think its safe to say that we first learnt to walk , then to run, then to move in unison with any natural sound which is to dance. Having said that not everybody wants to dance. I mean could you get interested in playing Darts or maybe playing Chess. Probably not. So there you are. But I've been around dancing for years . I would say it is extremely good exercise not only for both sides of the body but also for both sides of the brain. Remember this. Any type of dancing is." Moving to beautiful music. Creating shapes in space.
And joining in that wonderful world of make believe. One last thing. For the couple of hours spent dancing . All your daily troubles are forgotten. Its impossible to think of two things at the same time. If I am concentrating on the music and the steps, then everything else is put on hold.

My wife started me dancing 3 years ago, it was very difficult for her to get me there but I wanted her to join me at golf and she agreed, if I went to five dance lessons.
She then made it a little challenge, could I learn enough in 5 lessons in order to dance at an upcoming ball.
Our first lesson was the Rumba Box and the Waltz, in 5 weeks I was hooked, especially as at the ball ladies asked me to dance with them.
So I suggest that you appeal to your husbands vanity, if he thinks he can dance now, how good could he be after 5 lessons, also never criticise each other at a dance, you are there for fun. Practise at home, and compliment him when he gets it right.
He will find that the first time he leads a lady into a dance pattern he will feel so pleased he will not be able to stop.

Good Luck

Still Learning

Maybe start with some Country dancing. You don't have to love Country music to have fun with Country 2 Step. Country dancing is more relaxed than Ballroom dancing. Also, don't call it Ballroom Dancing, call it Partner dancing!!
D Hukriede
Dance instructor
Edina, MN