Which reminds me of another thing I never have appreciated; the person who "tutors" or advises you about something they feel you are not doing correctly at a dance. This does not include doing so if your partner asks you to show them something though.

The person who gets up and dances with someone else right after turning another down has no right to ask for a dance.

"Wherever you go, you represent the team. You will talk like, you will look like and you will act like the most dignified professional in your hometown" - Vince Lombardi to his players.

I've not yet refused a dance. It is a great matter of discipline to be dancing with someone you don't like, who doesn't smell nice etc., BUT it is the right way. I manage to enjoy myself even when dancing with someone I hate, which is one of the great things I've learnt from dancing. Fact is that even in a conservative environment where women rarely ask men for a dance, you can expect to dance up to 5 dances a night simply by being asked once, making the dance look good, and then being asked again and again after people have noticed you. This is how I used to dance when I was shy. The problem with this method is that ladies don't make it as clear that what they want is a dance - men will often walk up to ladies with their hands outstretched as a clear signal, whereas ladies will approach you as though they might just want to talk to you, and then when the music is loud, you won't understand what they're saying and it can take up to half a minute to figure out that what they're after is simply a dance! So my advice is, you go and ask, and make it clear!
You can always refuse to dance for an adequate reason, such as that you need a rest, but then you should dance with that partner later on when you've caught your breath, or at least express your regret if the music stops being played before you get round to that dance. It should really be your priority to dance with that person as soon as you're ready again. Other good reasons: You're just going home and someone is waiting for you. Something's happened with your shoe/foot/leg (blisters?). It's the last dance and the person you came dancing with should dance with you.
I'm sure you get the idea. The key to successfully refusing is to let the other person know that you do not object to dancing with them, in fact, you'd love to dance with them, only... Be charming and humorous, and you and that person will have something to talk about next time. It's always good to be seen to be sociable!

Have fun!

Philipp

I don't usaually refuse a lady who asked me for a dance. Some examples of occasions below when I would refuse a dance........

1). When asked by a lady who never had taken a lesson, or she obviously had no clue in dancing Viennese Waltz or Quickstep.

2). When the lady is obviously intoxicated.

3). A lady obviously was there "looking" for a man instead of enjoying dancing as a hobby.

As for the ladies who I most likely not to ask for a dance, that will be totally another topic. So I will not discuss here.

Yes you're right, the other party won't and shouldn't say "no" without giving a reason. Personally I can "take" it better if they do it with some style though, it's like wrapping up a horrible gift in nice wrappingpaper. It makes up for it, in some way

When I don't want to dance with someone, I try to avoid the person as much as possible! By like walking to the ladies' room when a song is over, or by dragging one of my friends on the floor.
I'm always in for a dance though, with anyone, so it doesn't happen that often

"Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." - Horace