I had to chuckle a bit about the "swan" response. That happened to me...I started out a bit slow, but now after about two years, the men I danced with as a beginner will tell me they are afraid to ask because now I am "too good" for them! This has presented some challenges in making the rounds, I find that now that the more advanced dancers will ask me to dance almost every time, the beginners do not seem to get much of a chance to get up the nerve! I do find it more comfortable to dance nearest my level, but I also try to ask a "beginner" at least once at every social because I have seen from both sides how it is hard to get up the nerve to ask someone more advanced (by the way, I'm still not really "advanced" of course, just more so than a beginner, at least they seem to think so).

I will dance with anyone the first time they ask, but one thing I really dislike is being hurt. There are a few guys I won't dance with now, because they haven't yet got far enough to know better. I've never figured out how to handle that, because of course they are not doing it on purpose and seem to feel that I am accusing them if I mention it.

I think this whole issue is different also for followers. I don't lead, but it seems to me that it would be easier to lead more basic moves for a beginner to follow than to adjust one's following to inexperienced leading. I suppose it depends on whether they are leading basic moves well vs. advanced moves poorly (alas, we have one of those here).

Just my $0.02.