"The point of establshing promenade POSITION is precisely what you say it isn't. Otherwise, you're expecting the follow to pop into the promenade from memory."
The point is that you don't have to think you are in promenade to do it well. Typically, if you really try to "go to promenade" or "establish a promenade position" you will end up too open, regardless if you are dancing as man or lady.
Instead, if you simply move in a promenade direction, while trying to keep your body parallel to your partners as you always should for any position, it will probably work out quite well.
There are some drills to practice for how the legs move across the body when stepping through in promenade, but that's to make these actions comfortable and instinctive in the body for when the body finds itself doing them without thought. Drills are not dancing. In dancing you should not be thinking about promenade, you should just be moving with your partner in the room.
"". . . the man coming out backwards"
I don't understand what you mean by this statement. Coming out of what?"
It can help if the man thinks of the direction of movement in promenade situations as feeling almost backwards over his left shoulder, rather than in between the partners.