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what to do/expect when asking a follower do dance
Posted by dancestyles
7/2/2017  5:27:00 AM
The farther south us leaders go, the easier it is to get a "yes" when we ask a follower to go out social dancing. Year after year, it's same thing.
In our area, the followers tell us it's the way they are raisedd - to play the leader as much as possible via text (phone calls rarely answered)
So my question to leaders - when should we call it off, ask only once?
To the followers - why such a difference depending on where the person lives?
The conversations often go like this:
Leader: Would you like to dance on friday or saturday?
Follower: Maybe
Leader: Can you let me know before 6pm on Friday so I can make plans
Follower: (no response)
Leader: We missed Friday's dance, would you like to go to tonight's (saturday)?
Follower: Where is it?
Leader: (location, time, and cost details supplied)
Follower: Who is the DJ?
Leader: (leader looks up DJ details and sends to her)
Follower: Do I have to dress up?
Leader: It's a mix, all dress styles are fine
Follower: What is the age groups?
Leader: almost all are betwen 45 and 65 (she's 55)
Follower: that sounds great!
Leader: it's the best dance in the area, superb event every week
Follower: how do you find such wonderful dances every week?
Leader: the venues are all competing for business, they love having us there, we make the event more fun, so the venue keeps me up to date.
Follower: I have some new dance shoes, can't wait to use them!
Leader: Great, does 8pm work for you?
Follower: (no response)
Leader: Time is running out, will 8pm work for you?
Follower: No, it doesn't work
Leader: I suppose we can go later, we'll miss some dancing but it's better late than never! How about 9pm?
Follower: 9 doesn't work either, I have a wedding tonight and have been looking foward to it forever
Leader: why didn't you just tell me that to begin with?
Follower: (no response)
Re: what to do/expect when asking a follower do da
Posted by ladydance
6/30/2017  6:51:00 PM
Ok, unless you live somewhere where there is a surplus of leaders, I would quit asking and go by myself. Unless there is some reason you are turning off followers (maybe by referring to yourself as a leader and them as a follower, rather than a dancer) I do not understand why 'followers' are so rude as to not give you a straight answer. Are you asking them out on a date, do you expect more than dancing? Don't ask more than once and if they say 'yes' say "I'll meet you there" and leave it at that.
Re: what to do/expect when asking a follower do da
Posted by ballroomchick
7/5/2017  1:32:00 PM
Man ditch the witch.

Don't know where you are located, but where I'm at very few go as a couple to studio dance parties. Even if they do, again few dance exclusive. Everyone dances with everyone. Most go as singles and if your a guy who can really dance - you rarely get to sit out a dance. Girls ask the guys to dance and it's considered polite.
Re: what to do/expect when asking a follower do da
Posted by dancestyles
7/6/2017  11:53:00 AM
Thank you for the reply, I'll bring it back to the group.
No, there is no dating wanted or implied! Many are asexual anyways, so it's not even possible to be an issue.
My use of the word follower is by their request because many of the women want to be leaders now. Even though 100% of the followers are women, many do now want to be objectified by the use of gender terms. (the men want to be known as men, we love being called men!)
Your question on a male shortage is the most important thing you brought up. I left it out of my original post for the sake of brevity and should not have.
***there is no shortage of men in our group***
The mailing list is very up to date with 57% men and 43% women. The "shortage", if you want to call it that, is only because the men don't enjoy asking over and over and over again so don't bother. Treated respectfully, there's actually more men available to dance on most days.
Re: what to do/expect when asking a follower do da
Posted by ladydance
7/6/2017  2:44:00 PM
The women are idiots. There is one leader and one follower, each has an important role. If they want to lead then then they should find a gay group and dance there. Otherwise they should learn their steps and be the best dancer they can be for their partner. I don't think it is possible to go social dancing in North America and partner dance unless there is a ballroom or latin connection. Just not enough people know how to dance as a couple.
Re: what to do/expect when asking a follower do da
Posted by dancestyles
7/6/2017  11:56:00 AM
I am speaking mostly about social dancing OUTSIDE of studios.
It's not to dance exclusively with anybody, it's simply an exerice to go out social dancing and have somebody to dance with. Showing up alone will oven mean there's nobody to dance with.
Girls WILL ask us to dance, but ONLY freestyle... but we want partner dancing!

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