I'm 17, and i have been dancing for 14 years tap ballet jazz and so on at Fran's studio of dance, which is considered one of the most prestigous studios in the country. I'm interested in moving into ballroom, because well, it looks like fun. I love to dance and i am interested in am equally as good studio in my Baltimore, D.C. area for ballroom. Also my boyfriend has volenteered to be my partener and learn with me, but will be nowhere near my ability at least to start, is it a good idea to get involved in this together, or will our different levels become frustrating? Any advice at all is appreciated for a beginning ballroom student such as myself. Thanks bunches!

Michelle has made some good points. Like you I began ballroom with extensive dance training. Certain things do come more easily but as Michelle pointed out, there's a lot to learn (and a lot to unlearn). Starting out with your boyfriend could be a very good thing but you'll need to be very patient. Sometimes what is trickest for a lady to learn can best be learned only after the man has some fundamentals of leading down pat. You will likely feel like you're progressing much much faster than him and this may very well be an illusion. Be prepared to be patient for a long time. It'll pay off in the end if you and your BF actually make a good and lasting partnership.

If your boyfriend is willing to learn dance,good for him and you, you are lucky. If he has the money he should take lessons by himself for 6 months in an arthur murray class of school. he should learn lead in foxtrot,waltz, cha-cha,swing,
and mambo. Then you can jump in with him. But do take a couple lessons from a good female instructor on what to do with your feet, arms, hands, and head, after all, we males are only the brush that helps to paint the beautiful picture that you ladies make for the world to see. ps: in ballroom dancing you will learn that your knees will now need to be together alot, and you'll dance with your knees slightly bent most of the time, not straight and bowed. So it will be a challenge for you also. But it sounds like you have the drive and professionalism already to accomplish this.

Seth wrote:

Arguments are going to cost these junior competitive couple their partnership. The boy is 15 and the girl is 12.

They have been together for 13 months and competed once so far last year. They have plans to participate in international style 10 dances in junior and maybe youth this year for 4-5 different comps in Calif, Nevada and including Nov in Provo, Utah. But due to the arguments and neck-pickings from both sides, this partnership may have already fell apart....

I know, cause I am his father.

Hey. take your boy friend up on the offer. I agree it is hard to find a male partner because not that many males around your age are into dancing. I was in your same situation. I danced in a ballet company in New Hampshire for several years while in high school. When I went off to college, I joined the ballroom competition team because it looked like fun. being on a college team makes it a little easier to find people to compete with if you want, but I don't have a "partner". Ballroom is very different from what you are use to. you will pick it up easily, and have a little better posture than most people, but you will have to relearn/unlearn a lot. Also, just because your boyfriend hasn't danced before doesn't mean anything. for all you know he might pick it up quickly and progress faster. just remember that he is the one that has to have the confidence to lead you and this takes a lot of work, so be patient.

Dear Jessica:

In my young years, I had the fortune to be trained by a three times world champion. My first partner and I took 5th place in national competitions of a European country. Then, when it came to coreography, we started butting heads and decided to agree to disagree. After we parted, I decided that I would dedicate my time to training other couples, and obtained permission from my coach to do so. First, I noticed that most people go to studios with their significant other and the intention to be dance partners. However, with time, I found out that an extremely small number of these couples stayed together on the dance floor for a reasonably long time. Through experience, I have learnt the following:

1. On average, ladies learn two to three times faster than men. Ladies have to learn their steps, posture, graceful body expression, and most of the time accept to follow the lead of a partner.
Men have to learn their steps, posture, elegant expression of the body as well, and last but not least, must learn how to lead. The later attribute is an absolute necessity. In dance, learning to lead is not easy, even for natural leaders. Since their youngest years, men get taught by their parents and/or are expected by society to lead. This expectation often feeds what I would call a "silly male pride", which may get in the way of men's learning experience: A prerequisite for learning is humility, and learning humility takes time. Conversely, most of the time, girls are taught by their parents and/or are expected by society to follow, and seem to naturally succeed in this mission.

2. In many cultures, dance is considered as a "woman's sport", while men are expected to show virility. Many men consider dance to be for "sissy" boys (this is why you see fewer boys than girls on the dance floor), which gets in the way of their interest in this sport/dance, as well as their learning experience.

3. For some reason, opposites attract (for more on this subject, please read a book entitled "Please, understand me" by David Keirsey and Marylin Bates). Because of this, many non-articulated (dance-wise) people date a person of the opposite sex who looks good on the dancing floor.

Because of the faster learning ability of women, the couples I started training were soon breaking up. I went to complain to my coach about my bad experiences. All I got from him was: "So, you have found out...OK. What do you want to do now?"

After giving it a lot of thought, I went back to my coach and told him: "Maybe I should try to first teach a female person, then request your help to find her a partner!". His answer was: "Suit yourself!". So I proceeded on that path. I looked around in the dance studio, and noticed a young girl who seemed so shy that I got convinced she would find it a real challenge. How wrong was I! She learned so fast and developed such an artistry that I started feeling challenged. One day, her mother asked to speak to me. She let me know that the girl I had trained wanted me as her partner. When she guaranteed to have her "shaperoned" during our trips throughout Europe (she was 16; I was 28). I accepted. We ended up beating my former partner with her new partner, and placed 4th in national competitions. I also know that I would have never chosen that girl as my girlfriend: We definitely had incompatible temperaments.

I thought this experience of mine may be helpful to resolve the dilemma you seem to have. Goog luck with whatever choice you make!

but my boyfriend hasn't any talent for dance,and he doesn't like dance also. but i have so much passion for dancing,and desperate to dance.is it really hard to find a male partner? How can i keep improving my dancing during the time without a partner? i feel dancing single for too long time will slow your progress.

Whoah, dancing for 14 years! That's quite a lot! I wish I had that much experience, because it's easier to pick things up when you have *some* background in dancing as opposed to none (that would be me).

I must say (this may sound harsh, I don't mean it that way though, I apologize), a good ballet/tap/jazz dancer doesn't necessarily make you a good ballroom dancer. After all, ballet isn't anything like partnerdancing. Of course: it will come more "natural" to you and that is a BIG plus , but you're basically "starting from scratch" again.

My advice is: take your boyfriend up on that offer! Why? First of all, it's sooo hard to find a partner, because there is a SEVERE lack of males in 90% of the places you go to. Secondly, you will both "start from scratch", so you're very lucky! Then last but not least: it's your boyfriend! How much better can it get?

Best of luck in partnerdancing, I know you'll do just fine

"Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." - Horace

I have been dancing with my girlfriend for the last two years. Let me tell you somthing. Your going to argue, especially if your going competitive. If you can keep these arguement on the dance floor and only on the dance floor you will do fine. But when and if you do please e-mail me and tell me how. Cause I sure can't

SN