Welcome to the world of the dance diva. She is immature and short sighted (upsetting a paying client) but this is not uncommon. You have insulted her, first by switching instructors and then by not dancing with her at the party. Find another studio.

I don't think you have anything to apologize for, personally. As a manager of a dance studio, I wade carefully through the fields of dance ego on a daily basis. There is always an instructor upset about someone or something. The more professional never let on to their students when they are pissed. Others have dumped well paying customers because they feel they aren't valued enough by the student. It is beyond tiresome when I have to talk some instructor down off the hissy fit ledge. So what do you want? If you want to stay at that studio, talk to the owner, ask her if you upset her in some way. As far as the parties go, Salsa is only one of many dances. If she plays too many, she will get complaints. My advice is to learn other dances so you don't sit out so much. Or find a salsa club or group in your area that dances it exclusively. If you act weird around her, then she will ignore you. Continue to be pleasant and it will blow over.

Sam

Rule of thumb, you NEVER turn down a request to dance - Unless you have a bad foot/ankle or you don't have your dance shoes on. It's just considered plain rude. Besides a dance is all of what 2 or 3 mins?

The ONLY way to get better is to get out there on the dance floor and DANCE. OK maybe you don't feel like a gold level student. NO ONE does when they start out. Everyone makes mistakes - you just laugh about it and go on. If you partner knows a step you don't AND you want to know about it, ask her to show you.

Acting flaky on the side lines will keep all the girls from asking you to dance.

If this place is not up to par with your personal standards, run out the money you paid in and find a new studio.