Maybe someone can just tell me the ethical answer

I've been dancing Pro/Am for the past year and a half....I haven't yet competed with my coach but we've been working towards some upcoming comps. My coach is a little flaky and I'd say the partnership is lagging on her side. I am really serious about my dancing and its getting to be a little expensive for paying someone whos not there for me all the time and never follows through with anything. Dont get me wrong, we're good friends but I'm just not feeling it anymore. SHe is an amazing coach though and is an extremely good dancer.....when shes actually there.
I have been looking into finding an amateur partner. I think I may have found her but I dont know if I should tell my coach "no more" or stay with him. SHes stressed me out enough with her flakiness. I just keep thinking it would be a waste to just change directions now. And I wouldnt want to let her down or think bad of me. But I want to try something different with this new partner. Is that jacked, does my coach have the right to be angry at me? OR should I not care since my dance career is up to me? What is more promising?

Please someone help me out. It shouldnt be that hard of a decision but I cant make up my mind.

If she really is a good coach, try staying with her when you take lessons with an amateur partner. Maybe the one-on-one serious lessons were too much for her, but if she's coaching a couple, she'd be fine.

If that still doesn't work - like if by "flaky" you mean she doesn't show up for lessons or constantly cancels - or if you don't feel you're progressing how you'd like to, just explain that and say that at this point in your dancing, you'd like to try working with another coach. You can always take with another coach concurrently too, rather than totally break off with one and start with another.

Although dancing can turn personal - you're slathered against someone's body for hours on end, for heaven's sake - you are a customer, and you can take your business anywhere, whenever you what, for whatever reason you want. As long as you're not mean about it, the vendor (teacher) shouldn't get angry. They may be sad to see you go, or unhappy that they're losing income, or feel bad that they aren't able to give you what you want - but that's unavoidable. We teachers are human too . But that shouldn't stop you from doing what you have to do for your dancing. Be respectful and honest wherever possible, and it should go fine. If an ex-teacher get snitty about it, well, they're not being very professional, and it's probably for the best that they're not your coach, since a coach's job is to support you, not to make themselves feel good.

Good luck!

In my opinion any good teacher should be happy that their student is taking the step to form an amateur partnership. I don't think you should harbor any bad feelings about finding someone you can work with consistently and compete with in regular amateur events. If you still like your teacher and feel you have a lot you still can learn from her, why not continue to take private lessons from her from time to time, at your mutual convenience? It's good to work on your own dancing away from your regular partner at times -- that way you can bring what you're working on back to the partnership to make you both stronger dancers. If you and your amateur partner both like your teacher, then another option is that you both can share lessons with her.

If your teacher doesn't understand, then it doesn't seem like you're losing much in the long run.

Laura

Wow, thanks guys, I feel a hundred times better. Thanks for helping me out. I will take your advice!!!

I started competing through the pro/am side. While I learned much from my instructor, I found it frustrating to not be able to practice the way I wanted and that there was limited competition for pro/am men due to the countless age/level categories. After my first competiton, I decided that I wouldn't compete again as pro/am. When the opportunity for an amateur partner presented itself, I took up the offer.

If you are interested in competing, switch to the amateur partnership. If you want to maintain some continuity in your training you could use your pro/am instructor as a coach. If you want you can always compete in both amateur and pro/am partnerships.

I wouldn't worry about how your instructor feels about you dancing with an amateur. This is a business relationship. If she gets mad at you or tries to play on your emotions, she obviously does not have your interests in mind. If this is the case, you should find a new instructor who doesn't play silly games with you (whether you dance pro/am or not).

Blair