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Getting turned down for dances.
Posted by Dancrmike
11/7/2000  4:30:00 PM
Here's a question on salsa culture.
I recently went to a salsa club and got systematically turned down by every girl I asked to dance (4 or 5 before I gave up). I'm pretty sure it's not my dancing, someone actually mistook me for an instructor on this particular evening.
This left me more than a little angry at what would be extremely rude behavior at any other dance event.
Usually I bring friends, so I don't encounter this as much, but I have found people turn you down for dances a lot more at salsa clubs in general. or at least the ones I've been to.

Have other people experienced this?
Is it more socially adceptable to turn someone down for a dance at a salsa club?

Thanks,
Mike

re: Getting turned down for dances.
Posted by dancrmike
12/1/2000  5:26:00 PM
The club I was mentioning is Club Miami in San Jose.
I've danced at Albertos, I found it to be friendlier, although since it was so much smaller, it's a lot more crowded.
re: Getting turned down for dances.
Posted by DWFII
11/25/2000  10:13:00 AM
Curiousity...what is the name of the club in San Jose? I'm from Oregon but I've danced at Albertos in Mountain View. How does your San Jose club compare?
re: Getting turned down for dances.
Posted by David
11/13/2000  2:58:00 PM
I would like to think you are up against the culture difference thing rather than just avoiding you because you are a better or worse dancer than they are. Try to bring some dancers with you whenever you go there and forget it. The latin music is always better at these places than at a studio function. In the east, often they have a live band which is sometimes even better.
re: Getting turned down for dances.
Posted by dancrmike
11/13/2000  2:13:00 PM
Actually, to clarify the location, it's a club in san jose, with probably about 3/4 latino dancers plus us white folk.
re: Getting turned down for dances.
Posted by David
11/9/2000  8:04:00 AM
I am talking about an actual latin club. Everyone (or almost everyone) in the place is latin. Columbian, Puerto Rican are all similar in the way they view their culture.
What you describe sounds like something one would encounter in Cornhusk, Kansas. A club which gives them the sense of a latin club. Remember, latin doesn't mean only salsa, they dance a variety of dance styles. They also would be insulted if someone taught a lesson during the evening. They feel that they do not need to learn how because they dance from a very early age and what they do reflects this. By this, I mean that they look good doing the dances they have learned this way.
re: Getting turned down for dances.
Posted by David
11/8/2000  8:42:00 AM
This is expected at a latin club. A lady comes to one of these with an escourt with whom she dances during the evening. A woman seen at one of these clubs alone is considered a loose woman. People do not mix at such a venue. Asking an escourted lady to dance is what causes fights to occur. Learn the social structure of where you dance before you get ingo trouble. You are not at your local dance studio or ballroom club.
re: Getting turned down for dances.
Posted by dancrmike
11/8/2000  6:24:00 PM
Hmm..
Perhaps the clubs I frequent are less authentic.
I have definately seen women who are "escorted". They seemed pretty obviously engaged for the evening and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking them to dance.
On the other hand, there are definately women there either by themselves or with other girls. Is one allowed to ask them to a dance?
I have also seen a ton of "mixing". Even girls who seem to be acompanied will dance with other guys.
Or for instance, salsa clubs always have a lesson at the beginning in which mixing is either encouraged or practically forced.
I'm curious what your take on those is in regards to salsa culture.
Would these not exist in a traditional salsa club, and how do the rules change in a non-traditional club?

thanks,
Mike.

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