Good dancing actually requires communication to flow both directions. This takes time and practice to develop. Leading and following are the most important interlinked skill sets in partner dancing. Unfortunately it's often left for last if it's taught at all. Too bad, really. You've been missing out on one of the most delightful experiences in dancing. Following a really good, musical, creative leader who shapes his intentions well so you can play off the connections and finish every note feels WAY better than backleading!
Making the change is certainly worth the effort. It does mean learning a different set of basics, though. To give up back leading, you must relinquish certainty, and the quickest route is repeatedly entering situations where you don't know what's coming next. Which means.....random patterns, following exercises, dancing with your eyes closed, and NO routines.
Most men use combinations which don't change much, and it's easy to anticipate instead of keeping a clear mind. Therefor, I suggest you and your new partner go social dancing together. BUT only dance every 3rd or 4th dance with each other. The rest of the time, dance with as many different people as possible and concentrate on doing whatever is led. Don't worry about steps, Cuban motion, weight change, styling, ANYTHING except being open to whatever your current partner has in mind. (Matching well with an off-beat dancer is one of the most difficult following exercises there is.) If you're at a small studio where you already know and have danced with everyone, go explore other places. Do all mixers, and enter every Jack & Jill contest you can find. The more practice you get, the more quickly you'll see results.
