Log In

Username:

Password:

   Stay logged in?

Forgot Password?

User Status

 

Attention

 

Recover Password

Username or Email:

Loading...
Change Image
Enter the code in the photo at left:

Before We Continue...

Are you absolutely sure you want
to delete this message?

Premium Membership

Upgrade to
Premium Membership!

Renew Your
Premium Membership

$99
PER YEAR
$79
PER YEAR
$79
PER YEAR

Premium Membership includes the following benefits:

Don't let your Premium Membership expire, or you'll miss out on:

  • Exclusive access to over 1,620 video demonstrations of patterns in the full bronze, silver and gold levels.
  • Access to all previous variations of the week, including full video instruction of man's and lady's parts.
  • Over twice as many videos as basic membership.
  • A completely ad-free experience!

 

Sponsored Ad
In Love with my instructor?
Posted by jhoushour
2/18/2002  12:51:00 PM
Oh, Boy, here I go...
I have been dancing for about 4 weeks now and I have found a new passion for dancing. I have had to make sure I love to dance because of how dance has enriched my life, not because I am head over heels with my instructor. I have kept things professional because I know she has to maintain some kind of professionalism. I feel a mutual attraction and I know she is single. My question: Is it possible to date your instructor even discreetly? I am not sure how to proceed. I must know either way. It is killing me not knowing if there is any hope at all. She could very well be THE ONE. Even if I am rejected, I will still be able to continue studying with her because I consider her a friend. You instructors out there have probably run into the same scenario with your students being attracted to you. How did you handle it. Were you attracted to him/her?
re: In Love with my instructor?
Posted by Keh Gough
2/18/2002  6:28:00 PM
Everything you have said I have thought of. I guess I was venting. Now to be the man and just tell her. Thanks again...

No. No. Don't do that. If you value her as a great teacher. Once you tell her and if she doesn't have the same feeling about you then she will be reserved/different somehow in her teaching.

If she has the same feeling about you she will send endless of hints and signals you will detect them. Even I am old and gray, I still gets the hints and signals once in a while.

re: In Love with my instructor?
Posted by Keh Gough
2/18/2002  4:40:00 PM
WELL, I AM 29 AND SHE IS 27. SHE HAS BEEN TEACHING FOR 6+ YEARS WITH A CHAIN STUDIO.

Good, now I can talk, knowing that I am not reply to someone at a much younger age who might have least amount of experience in relationship with a female. And your teacher has 6 years of teaching experience dealing with male students to know what she wants outside of student-teacher relationship....

SHE TAKES DANCE VERY SERIOUSLY. SHE HAS NOT ACTUALLY SAID ANYTHING CONCRETE. IT IS HOW SHE INTERACTS WITH ME. I WENT ON VACATION FOR A BOUT A WEEK AND SHE TOLD ME 3 OR 4 TIMES HOW GLAD SHE WAS TO SEE ME.

Absolutely, all teachers (including me) should seriously love the dances and the teaching part/role or else she/he would not be there to teach. Now, when she told you that "she was glad to see you", this does not neccesary mean anything but just that. I am always glad to see my students and especially seeing their improvements. One difference is that I make my income through my day job outside of dancing and I don't teach for a fee ( I teach the pre-teens and teens in promoting ballroom dancing as a hobby ). If my income depended on how many students I had, I would hate to loose even just one student. Then perhaps subconciously I would say to my students from time and time again that "I am so glad to see you" as a greeting sort of thing.

On the other hand you said, "SHE HAS NOT ACTUALLY SAID ANYTHING CONCRETE". I suspect that the mutual feeling you had memtioned in the prior post might be just your one sided thoughts? Women know how to apply subtle hints, believe or not.

IT IS HOW SHE INTERACTS WITH ME

Ballroom dancing is an activity that a man and a woman can hold each other in a very closely body contacted position where if you do that in your office, work place or a night club to a woman, you might get a slap in the face. Many times this close dancing position could be interpreted in man's/woman's mind as something else afar from reality.

SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD MET ANYONE ON VACATION....

Just a friendly conversation, I suppose.

If she had suggested an outing for a lunch, a dinner or dancing at a club other than your studio, that would be more of a concrete evidence.

IS THERE A WAY TO DELETE MY USER NAME? I CAN'T SEEM TO LOG ON FROM HERE! I HOPE SHE DOESN'T SEE THIS POST...I FEEL LIKE A SCHOOL BOY! NOT GOOD

Don't worry about it !!! You did not say anything bad about her. So she does read all this, what harm does it do? She has been teaching for 6 years, she may have encountered many times that students having the same feeling about her. If she have read this posts that will only help her in how to deal with this particular situation. That's all.

In love with your instructor?
Posted by dancecraz
4/3/2002  12:18:00 PM
Stop daydreaming! Concentrate on your dance. If u can outperform your instructor, he or she will be impressed by u - your love then will take care of itself!
re: In Love with my instructor?
Posted by jhoushour
4/1/2002  12:19:00 PM
I told her and she let me down easy. I expected her response. Nothing has changed with our professional relationship. I respect her position and I won't bring up the subject again. Of course, I would not ask her to give up her career for me. I am glad I did bring it up. I am able to move on. Thanks for the feedback!
re: In Love with my instructor?
Posted by Keh Gough
2/18/2002  5:50:00 PM
I feel a mutual attraction and I know she is single. My question: Is it possible to date your instructor even discreetly? I am not sure how to proceed. I must know either way. It is killing me not knowing if there is any hope at all. She could very well be THE ONE.

After reading your original post again, I like to add this:

Yes, there is possibility to date your female instructor. At the studio I go, there was this beautiful female trainee instructor who now had since quited her job and going out with a male student of hers. This male student is not rich or particularily better looking than the most, but he is young (about your age). I guess they must have the mutual feeling for each other. So any hope? Sure. But as I wrote in the prior post, try to detect any subtle hints from her to see if she has the same feeling about you as you do about her.

re: In Love with my instructor?
Posted by jhoushour
2/18/2002  1:40:00 PM
WELL, I AM 29 AND SHE IS 27. SHE HAS BEEN TEACHING FOR 6+ YEARS WITH A CHAIN STUDIO. SHE TAKES DANCE VERY SERIOUSLY. SHE HAS NOT ACTUALLY SAID ANYTHING CONCRETE. IT IS HOW SHE INTERACTS WITH ME. I WENT ON VACATION FOR A BOUT A WEEK AND SHE TOLD ME 3 OR 4 TIMES HOW GLAD SHE WAS TO SEE ME. SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD MET ANYONE ON VACATION....IS THERE A WAY TO DELETE MY USER NAME? I CAN'T SEEM TO LOG ON FROM HERE! I HOPE SHE DOESN'T SEE THIS POST...I FEEL LIKE A SCHOOL BOY! NOT GOOD
re: In Love with my instructor?
Posted by jhoushour
2/18/2002  6:02:00 PM
Everything you have said I have thought of. I guess I was venting. Now to be the man and just tell her. Thanks again...
In Love With Instructor?
Posted by TangoGirl
2/21/2002  6:58:00 PM
If she's been teaching for 6 years she obviously takes her career very seriously. At chain studios it is common for student/teacher fraternization to be prohibited, and in some cases the instructors sign contracts that permit them to be fired and fined thousands of dollars for becoming romantically involved with a student (this is the case where I dance).

If you value her as a teacher, my recommendation is to keep quiet. Nothing can ever be the same after a revelation like that. Let her make the first move if there is one to be made -- and don't ask her to give up her career for you.

re: In Love with my instructor?
Posted by Keh Gough
2/18/2002  1:16:00 PM
Before I jump in to answer your questions, I need more information.

How old are you? Please don't get offended for this......I want to make a more senseful answer to your request.

How long has she been teaching ballroom dancing? Is she a veteran teacher? a trainee teacher? a part time teacher?

Is this a chain studio? Like Arthur Murray's?

Why make you think the attraction was mutual from both sides? Please tell us what did she say to you and what did she do to make you believe this is so?

Sincerely,

Copyright  ©  1997-2026 BallroomDancers.com